What is stress? Although it seems a simple questions, the answer is not so straight forward. In general the meaning of “stress” is associated with the feeling that what we are asked to do, manage or cope with something that goes above what we can actually take. Stress comes from the Latin “stringere” or to draw tight.
The changes happening in our body in a stressful situation are meant to make us ready to react quickly to threats of the size of a lion, for example. Those changes prepare our entire body to a physical reaction often referred to as “fight, flight or freeze”. Our heart starts beating faster, our breathing rate is increasing to get more oxygen in the blood, our senses – earing, smell – become more alerted, sugar and fats are converted to make energy available quickly, blood is diverted from hands, feet, guts to the brain, causing us to get cold hands and impacting digestion. In essence our BODY is getting ready to react to a possible predator.
Stress management – what is stress
I see two key points here:
– First those changes in our body take place whether we want it or not, it is not a conscious decision to “get stressed”.
– Secondly this entire sophisticated mechanism gets in place to make us survive physical threats, which is great if you happen to live in the jungle or there is a “clear and present danger” (like when someone runs in front of our car and we quickly push on the break). In most of the cases nowadays OUR INTERNAL answer to an external event is actually causing us stress.
Fortunately most of the time we are not facing life threating situations. And still our body keeps on getting ready for a “fight, flight or freeze” situation without us even realizing it!
To me stress meant, among others, until a couple of weeks ago, Thursdays afternoon: 3.30 PM sharp, pick kids up from school; 4 PM Son n. 1 has 40 min Sax classes, luckily at home; 4.30 Son n. 2 has 1 hour Gymnastics; 6 PM Son n. 2 has 30 min Drums classes (strategically located close to the Gym place, 5 min driving from home, so we are back by 6.35 PM); 7 PM dinner needed to be ready – kids should be in bed by 8/ 8.30 PM. In all that – mind you – I had as well Son n. 3 to manage. And dinner needed to be something kids like, because after such an afternoon I did not have the energy to cope with complains about too many vegetables being on their plates. 8.50 PM I went to bed. Had enough, thank you.
Now, the schedule itself was NOT the problem: all activities were set up so that there was ENOUGH time (for me and each kid involved) between an activity and the next to switch: change, drink, have a snack. What was stressing me was how I saw and perceived the schedule. What was stressing me on Thursdays was not the driving around or the cooking. What I found stressful was that I kept on thinking of “what else I needed to do”.
The results of such an afternoon where a set of kids better educated in arts and sport and a stressed, short tempered mum with a terrible headache.
Headache is a classical sign of stress, but it is not the only one.
Some typical signs of stress include:
- Headaches
- Being irritable and short tempered
- Loss or increase of appetite (especially for junk food)
- Increased/ decreased sex drive
- Nail biting
- Permanent tiredness, even after sleeping well
- Short breathing, higher blood pressure
- Bowel problems
- Stomach acidity
- Frequent minor health problems (e.g. more frequent viral infections)
- Feeling you are about to start crying for no apparent reason
- Social withdrawal – “do not feel like / I am too tired for seeing people”
Despite this list may not be complete, it is providing some help in identifying if we are stress: being AWARE is the first step towards empowering each of us to change and control our stress levels!
Note that here we are talking about EXCESSIVE stress levels. Do not forget that there is a healthy stress level – which we could call “motivation”! Stress is not always negative: starting something new or getting ready for a nice evening out with friends are as well example of stress – however the excitement is making us feeling full of energy rather than puling us down.
Disclaimer: This text is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. Pls. consult your general practitioner or health care provider for guidance about a specific or suspected medical condition related to the topic covered.
To learn more about stress and see what your stress level is: http://bemindful.co.uk/mbsr/test/
Sex, Sleep, Eat, Drink, Dream: a day in the life of your body, Jennifer Ackermann, 2007, First Mariner Books
