Prepare yourself for a great Valentine’s day! This day is not about giving presents only and spending time with your loved one, but it’s about putting in perspective your relationship and share the love for each other. We always expect the other to love us fully, but do you give yourself fully to your partner?
Tip #7: Love your partner unconditionally
A relationship is a place where to give somethings, not to get something. Giving is the best talent all of us have! So, why not use?
When analyzing your relationship, don’t measure all the time what you give and what you get! Do you love your children as long as they are good? Or you love them no matter what? The same with your partner. You love them or you don’t. There is no “I love you but…”
“Unconditionally” means:
- that you don’t put anything above your partner and your relationship;
- forgiving when it’s needed (real forgiving, not the one with “I forgive you but…”);
- caring more than the ether;
- being grateful for what they are and for the fact that they’re next to you;
- allowing them to be happy and contributing to this happiness;
- it does not mean you don’t see their limits or faults, but it means that you love them anyway and engage in helping them grow and then grow together as a couple.
And don’t forget about yourself: unconditional love means loving yourself too, respecting and forgiving yourself.
I while back I heard a friend’s story. His wife forgave him totally for his infidelity and did everything to move further with the relationship, learn from that situation and build up a stronger connection between them. But he was sad. He did not understand how this was possible and who was he to deserve all this. When you are being loved unconditionally you deserve everything! But his problem was not that his wife did not forgive him, but that he could not forgive himself and he thought he was worthless. As a friend I told him that he should not lose time anymore thinking about the past, get the lessons and focus on the future, take advantage of this chance and give his best to make it worth it. It’s not like his wife was expecting him to be grateful for the chance, but she was expecting him to take take it and use it. So he decided to give his 100% in this relationship, stop focusing on his mistake but be grateful for the forgiveness and he started giving even more than before in his relationship. With time he also learned forgiving himself and loving himself unconditionally.
Now, think about your own relationship: is there something you should forgive yourself for? Is there something that you should forgive your partner for? If yes, open up yourself, focus on the love and not on the fault and it’s going to be much easier to forgive unconditionally.
Let your partner know you are there fully by telling, showing and making them feel it. Engage all your partner’s senses to make them feel your unconditional love: sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste and surprise them with small or big acts of love.
When you give yourself fully, the other one feels it and enjoys it.
So, think about your partner’s needs and wishes and ask yourself: What is the most loving thing that I can do this week for my partner?
Inspiration for these tips: Tony Robbins and two of my favorite clients that showed me that love is above everything.
Photos: Lidia Dogaru
