As human beings, we have the distinctive ability to choose how we want to react to specific situations – at least to some extend.
Essentially self control – how we DECIDE react to specific situations – can be TRAINED, just as a muscle: muscles get tired after exercise, however the more you exercise, the stronger they get.
Now, that means that changing a behavior:
– IS strenuous and requires commitment and energy to change the way we think and act – exercise self control. Accept it.
– however, it CAN be changed. Acknowledge it.
– it can work only if one takes the decision to change it. (“believe you can change”). Decide it.
Not only: training within a specific self control in one area is automatically powering up self control in other areas, even totally unrelated. For example, managing your money better makes you eat healthier food or smoke less cigarettes.
There is an additional factor: sugar level. (hey that is why I cannot lose weight!) When sugar level is lower, it is more difficult to keep self control. Hence, eating small amounts regularly over the day drives change more effectively. Ensuring a balanced sugar level will allow you to concentrate to the one change you want to make a success.
OK, so how to ignite a “sticky” change and improve your life?
1. Identify ONE area you want to change
For example consistently run 30 min three times a week. Focus on THAT one thing.
2. Keep a log
Tracking is doing magic to make your change happening.
3. Keep it in front of your eyes
Stick a post-it on the fridge at eye level saying “no junk food” and that will stick in your mind even if you do not realize it. Get inspired by the goal you want to achieve when setting the next PC password. (this one works SO well for me!!!)
4. Allow celebration, define a ritual of success or a treat
For example, give yourself the luxury of a special after-shower body cream when you run. Note that I did not say – define a punishment if you cannot make it: reason being that our brain is much more responsive to positive feed back than to punishment! The expectation of the positive reward is already stimulating the same hormones produced when “being” in the positive situation. Check it out! Expecting to have fun on a night out with friends is already making us smiling!!
Happy change!
For reference and deep dive:
http://www.uky.edu/~njdewa2/baumeisteretaljpers06.pdf
http://graehl.org/2010/10/12/evidence-that-self-control-can-be-trained-lik/
The power of habit, Charles Duhigg, Random House books, London 2012
Het puberende brein, Eveline Crone, 2008 (I am sure it is available in any language)
