18Sep
By: Martine Alonso Marquis On: September 18, 2015 In: Change, Emotions Comments: 0

healing forestI am full of flaws, just like you. Every day I undertake efforts to be a better person, a better friend, a better lover, a better colleague or a better family member. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t. When I don’t succeed, I tend to beat myself up. You probably do the same. Very often, we think of our flaws and we tend to focus our energy on how to “fix” ourselves.

Today, I would like to take a different approach and encourage you to do the same. I decided to think of my biggest flaws and see how, on many occasions, what I or others perceive as a weakness can turn out to be a strength.

This is what I came up with:

1. I speak too loud and sometimes, if things get heated up, I even scream: However, this has often allowed me to speak up for the ones who don’t dare or don’t know how. On many occasions, I have been the voice of those who had none. I dared speaking up and denouncing injustice when others remained silent. Also, at a party, my vocal superpowers have allowed me to create the best atmosphere, for example by doing some North-African yooyoos or a “grito mexicano”. And I ain’t a bad signer either. 🙂

2. I am impulsive and sometimes aggressive: However, thanks to this, I have on (too) many occasions found the courage and spontaneous energy to defend myself and others from physical aggression. My tendency to act without thinking too much or calculating risks has turned out to be life-saving sometimes. It also allowed me to be the best hockey-player on my school team, to kick the asses of taller basketball players and to not be afraid when I go through a dark alley and have no other choice.

3. I am controlling and over-analytical (yes, you can have two flaws that are complete opposites!): I like to know everything (this freaks people out) and I usually twist a problem around to come up with all possible scenarios for an outcome. I prepare a Plan A, but also a Plan B, C, D, E and why not, F. Very often, this makes me the best-informed person in the room, the one others turn to for a solution. It allows me to keep my blood cold in case of emergency. I have often observed the “cooler guys” end up panicking because they were unprepared for a situation and didn’t know what to expect.

4. I am (overly?) emotional: Oooh god, I can’t stand it when I am told I need to “manage” my emotions! I think emotions need to be lived, not managed. My passion (and in this I include all the tears that come with passion) has given me the drive to go and fulfill my wildest dreams. Tuning into my and other people’s emotions has allowed me to be aware of deep-seated needs within us. In many situations, it made it possible to express myself with a level of honesty that is so often missing in important conversations. I have emotions and this is what make me the lively human being I am!

5. I am attention seeking: Yeah, I want recognition and attention! Don’t you? The good side of this is that I don’t only ask for attention: I also give my complete attention to the person in front of me. I am a dedicated partner and friend. I am a great listener and empathizer. If you are dedicated to me, I will give you all the attention and love you deserve as a human being.

6. I am jealous: Well … I honestly can’t think of anything good that comes with that flaw! 😉 But I am fully committed at working on it!

These are the main flaws I could think of today. They are the ones I have most often been blamed for or for which I have beaten myself up. But today, I feel different about them.

I believe that by knowing our weaknesses and understanding where they come from, by accepting that we are not perfect, by admitting that weaknesses often times serve a purpose, we can demystify our flaws and turn them into strengths. So next time you tell yourself you “should be better”, think rather that you can actually be your best self just by being and accepting who you are.

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