22Jun
By: Simon Finlayson On: June 22, 2015 In: Challenge, Change, Emotions, Learning Comments: 1

P1010629What is going on?

Yes, just that. Some of us in the Uptitude team have been rather silent of late, so we asked each other, ‘what is going on?”

A challenge if you will, write an article about the things that we are experiencing right now in and around our lives.

The purpose?

Sometimes we are so focused into our own world that we forget that all around us are people who are sharing similar experiences, challenges, problems and successes. If we just share with others then we can also give and receive the lessons that are learned with every step that we take.

So, what is going on?

Well, I must admit that I have found the last few months to be a very challenging time. My experience has felt more like a steady downward slope than an exciting life full of success and abundance; although I am on the verge of my biggest Rite of Passage yet – becoming a Father for the first time.

Throughout the last 8,5 months, my girlfriend has suffered every kind of ache, pain, itch, discomfort and sickness that a pregnant lady could imagine. We have had 3 false alarms for the birth – one of which ended in hospital – and I have stopped working so that I can be at home to support her during these last weeks. We are at the point where every day we say to each other, ‘I hope the baby comes so that this will be over.’ The magical time of Pregnancy has become a grind that we are struggling to deal with.

For her: Frustration, pain and nausea; she starts the day with energy and good intentions but within an hour just wants to creep back to bed. Sometimes it is hard to deal with loved ones who just don’t seem to understand how HARD it is. Her body has changed, she is SO tired and is wondering how she will cope with the needs of the little one once they are born…

For me: Confusion, confrontation, frustration, hopelessness and apprehension. Why is this process become so challenging? I thought I was better than this; Sometimes I feel like I am useless or not able to help, ‘just sit with me’ she says…I want to use my time to get RESULTS, put energy into my new business that I have been stalling for months, not knowing when I can commit to clients and partners due to the baby coming. WILL I be able to follow my own path once the baby is here?

Then there are the moments when we stop listening to each other, ignore each others needs and only feel the pain and frustration. Shout and scream, say things to hurt each other, make threats. Being angry just because we cannot see any other way to show it to each other.

Then,

“Look the baby is moving, he has the hiccups, come and feel my stomach now!”

“Oh all right then..”

I lay my hand on her warm skin, avoid eye contact as I am still grumpy from the words we just exchanged. As my hand softens to the shape of her stomach, I feel the pull of the growing energy it contains. There it is, a bounce, a nudge, like a kitten under a duvet. The baby both relaxes and moves to my touch, the vibration of my voice.

What’s going on?

Right now, there is only this.

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1 Comments:

    • Iulia
    • June 22, 2015
    • Reply

    Lovely Simon. And challenging, yes.
    But still lovely. Only this!

    Thanks for sharing. Tomorrow is my turn.
    Hugs,
    i.

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